This has been one of those weeks when I need to step back, look at things critically, evaluate my performance, and make adjustments to my approach to the workload and obligations currently on my plate.
Ever had one of those weeks?
First things first.
What are the current assignments, burdens, schedules, relationships and tasks that I need to attend to?
I work, and I work hard. I currently have a full time job as medical director of a busy, three-site mental health center. I also work seventy-five hours a month doing telepsychiatry on some evenings and weekend days depending on how the scheduling falls. Mental health is a rewarding business to be in, but it is very stressful for psychiatrists and others who choose it as a career. Burnout is a very real possibility.
I have relationships that I cherish. These are with family, online friends, IRL friends, coworkers, confidants, and others who I want to spend time with, talk to, share a meal with, or just feel safe with. These relationships don’t happen in a vacuum, and they don’t flourish without some effort on my part. (Some of my closest and dearest friends have gently reminded me of that when I fall down on the job) Being with others is healthy. Isolation for long periods of time is not.
I have a need to create and spend time in my own head. Now, psychiatrists spend a lot of time trying to figure out what other people are thinking and feeling and why, but they need time to attend to their own thoughts as well. I am no exception. For me, writing things down and thinking things through is as important as breathing. If I go too long without doing it, I get a physical air hunger for the words, the sentences, the paragraphs and the physical look and feel of my words on the page.
My body needs my attention. I will be fifty-seven years old in October. Do I feel fifty-seven? No. Do I realize that my physical body is no longer nineteen years old? Yes. Using the old excuses (I’m too busy, I don’t have time, it hurts, it’s not fun, I’m older and I don’t need to exercise) doesn’t cut it. Attention to physical needs such as exercise, sleep and nutrition is as important as working hard to pay the bills. Probably more so. If I don’t pay attention to the former, I won’t be able to keep doing the latter.
Given that I really believe that the things I just told you about are really important, how do I plan to make sure they get the time and effort they deserve as I go about my daily life?
Schedule. I make time for the work, the people, and the personal activities that are most important to me. I keep my calendar sacred. If it gets on my calendar for a certain time on a certain day, it must be done at that time on that day. No exceptions. That makes it absolutely imperative that my calendar is pruned ruthlessly and only things that need to be there are there.
I keep a constantly changing and dynamic to do list. Unlike the calendar, this list is always churning, moving, and morphing from one look to another. It is a living thing. It is meant to be a playground for ideas, projects, writing topics, shopping lists, vacation planning, and things to do. I work in it and on it many, many times every day.
The most beautiful calendar and the most organized list in the world will not help you if you don’t get up, get out, and execute.
I have to show up at the places on my calendar. I must attend the meetings and participate fully. I must go to the gym. I must message someone on Facebook or call a friend or remember to schedule a dinner to catch up. I must share something of myself, open myself up to others, in order to get them to do the same. Those of you who know me well know that this does not come naturally to me. I work at it every day. I love it when it clicks, when it feels right, when I feel that special connection with a good friend or a confidant who knows exactly how I feel and sticks with me anyway!
I have to pay attention to cooking, eating right, exercising, and feeding my mind as well as my body. These things don’t happen by themselves. It takes effort. The effort is worth it.
When I am tempted to just go home and call it a day, sometimes I need to reach out to a friend. When I think I can get just one more task done at ten o’clock at night, I am learning to tell myself that it is time to go to bed, because the extra two hours of sleep I get will lead to much higher productivity the next morning.
The business of the week is behind me.
Today I will get my car serviced, buy a nice bottle of wine, spend two hours at the gym, cook a couple of nice meals, talk to someone special, sit in the sunshine, take a nap, watch a movie, and get to bed by ten.
I have assessed.
I have planned.
Now, it’s time to execute.
Have a good weekend, all.